ok...i keep meaning to post more often, and i will get some recipes up soon. today i turn 36...where do the years go??? i certainly don't always feel like the same girl i was 20 years ago, when i still had big dreams about my future...then again, i do still have some big dreams about my future, they've just shifted gears a bit...instead of wanting to be married at 20 and becoming a big fashion designer i've decided i want to raise 2 awesome kids to be self assured, creative young men and that i'd love to one day have my own business and a cool eco friendly home with plenty of room for an awesome garden. will it happen? i don't know, but instead of dwelling on past mistakes and divergences from the path i wanted to be on i choose to see those as learning experiences and growth opportunities and keep moving forward to a future that could be brighter and better than i even imagined. i still make mistakes, i booby trap myself...setting myself up for failure at times...usually afterwards i have a thought of "oh, you walked right into that knowing it wouldn't work and it didn't what were you thinking?", but i think a lot of people do that. i say just keep being the best you you can be and move forward, don't let anything hold you back, because you never know what lays ahead, just around the corner...waiting for you to take that chance. what's in store for me in the next year? i really have no idea, but with some luck and hard work, maybe i'll finally be able to start my business.
today is school picture day and the boys are dressed rather handsomely...connor is in a ralph lauren multi-coloured plaid button front shirt and declyn is in a blue striped button front shirt with an argyle sweater vest and his hair is slicked with pomade for the first time...he loves that it can easily go back into place even if it gets messed up easier than with gel. sometimes, from things he says or does i wonder if he may be gay, but he could be bi or straight, yet a bit flamboyant or just care about how he looks...nothing wrong with any of it...he's a sweetheart and as long as he is comfortable with himself then i'm happy with that. he and connor are so different in many ways, just like my sister and i are very different, yet we love eachother so much (my sister and i are not identical twins, we are 2 1/2 years apart, but just goes to show how each child is truely unique no matter how much their DNA is identical).
so in honor of coming out day i just want to say how proud i am of all of my friends and family who have pushed those closet doors open and come out...it's not easy , but i hope it gets easier and easier for everyone to be able to do. Love you all! stay true to yourself!
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