ok...this week and this morning got off to a rough start...i had an awesome time at king richard's faire this past saturday, then sunday i was pooped out and so were the kids, even though they had spent the day with my grandmother, not running around in the rain with me...sunday night connor woke up with croupe then on the way to bring him to the dr. monday i got a phone call to pick declyn up from school and bring him shoes...he had thrown up all over himself and was in the nurse's office, connor ended up fine but has a bit of a cold, then monday night declyn had croupe and he had a fever tuesday night, so off to the dr we went, turns out he just has a really bad head cold and congestion...then this morning when we woke up they started in...fighting one another and defying every rule we have (i really don't have many, but they figured they'd do everything that they know they shouldn't)..but when the bus came to get them they gave me hugs and kisses and ran to line up..connor was near the front of the line, but declyn wanted to squeeze in an extra hug and make sure his hair was still in place and most of the other kids were lined up or scrambling to line up then declyn did something awesome that i'm totally proud of him for...he looked at everyone scrambling for a place in line and very calmly and pointedly walked to the back of the line and stood there tall and erect and calmly waiting for everyone else...the other kids noticed and immediately others who were not in line, but were trying to scooch in did a double take and got in line behind declyn and they all lined up calmly to get on the bus after that. i was floored that something so simple could have such an impact.
i was thinking about this and other things when i realised that we all have the ability to make an impact with our actions...some will be bigger impacts than others, but our actions really do speak.
i've also been thinking a lot about self esteem ...ensuring it our children but also our own...i know my self esteem is not that high most of the time and i'm pretty sure my kids know that too...it's fairly evident. i have spent too much time worrying about what others think and living by other's standards and so on and so forth and too little pursuing my own dreams and goals...too much time feeling like my body is a prison that my soul was sentenced to rather than a temple in which it resides. our children know our feelings sometimes even better than we do ourselves...i know mine know when i'm feeling down and depressed and they know when i feel light and happy, sometimes they know this before i even catch on to it. just something to think about...time to go pick up my little men from the bus.
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