house cleaning, ballet and a boy with fashion sense...

yup, that sort of sums up this week...i'm trying to get things clean around here (nothing new there) and declyn went to the eye doctor...his eyesight is making big improvements and he may be done with glasses within a couple of years. tuesday the kids had a day off (professional development day?)and we went to the mall and stopped into a kids clothes store where declyn fell in love with an argyle sweater vest and fedora and driver cap...yup...this boy has a sense of style. he also liked the "handsome shirts" (button up/oxford shirts) and some neckties and bowties. now if you ask him what he wants for christmas/yule it's "drums, that cool hat (fedora) and science stuff and tools"...gotta love it! this morning declyn was doing ballet while i was making breakfast and i told him he was doing lovely ballet and he said he'd love to take ballet class, but was afraid that boys can't do ballet, i re-assured him that they could and i posted on facebook about it and we have gotten quite a bit of support...really, not enough boys do ballet or are encouraged to follow such dreams. I'm hoping to find some local classes maybe he and his cousin, lolli could take classes together.

anyway...having twins one of the things i've really wanted to instill is a sense of individuality...i really don't like that so many people clump them in as if they were one child...they are so incredibly different...they may look (nearly)identical, but they have different personalities, different tastes in clothing, different interests. i have always been a bit unique and i really don't express myself through clothing and style the way i once did...when i had kids i got rid of some of my more radical clothes (a lot of my punk and/or goth stuff) and i regret that...i think i need to set an example for my kids by being myself and fully expressing who i am so that they can feel more free to express who they are...connor is a jeans and t-shirts, comfortable not too fancy shoes kind of kid...sure he likes a nice shirt or sweater for dressing up, but he'd rather wear a t-shirt most days, right now he really wants a skull sweatshirt that zips all the way up so that the hood is also a mask and he loves all things rock and roll and thinks steampunk styled stuff (esp. hot air balloons and airships)and guitars and all forms of rock and roll type things (skulls, music, instramants) are cool and loves to draw. Declyn is more interested in drums, science, steampunk (esp. anything to do with mad scientist, science and inventions) and "handsome" things (fedoras, driver caps, oxford shirts sweaters/sweater vests, vests, khakis, neckties, bowties or if he wears t-shirts or henleys preferably they have no pictures) and ballet. i do what i can to encourage all of their interests and to nurture their individuality. this morning, at the bus stop, declyn has built a "fortress" actually he and connor built it together(they work well together) by lining up and piling several larger rocks and some of the bigger kids purposely knock it down...partially because these kids are never monitored by parents and partially because they just don't get it...that rocks can be a fortress or that that can be something so important that declyn gets angry and yells and screams and turns red in the face over it...i told declyn we'll rebuild his fortress in a secret location over the weekend. Declyn doesn't get that other people have no imagination...connor gets this and since i had told him that people don't see fairies or dragons because they don't know how to look with their 3rd eye was trying to tell children and adults alike that they could see dragons if they looked with their 3rd eye and explained "but you have to be ready, really ready." when people looked at him strangely he walked off shaking his head and mumbling "oh...they aren't ready...no one is ready." very exasperated...connor gets that others don't know how to see things the way we often do and he'd like to help them, but he hasn't figured out that most people never will open themselves to the wonders that can be there if you just shift your perspective and open up to the possibilities of what lies beyond the veil of the mundane.

so another weekend is about to start...last week my neighbors kept us up/woke us up with their partying and i'm not looking forward to that, however i am looking into some possible changes that could at least get us away from this neighborhood...if not in a terribly improved situation at least to a better place for us. well, off to do more cleaning...have some floors to clean and pans to scrub, i promised the kids that they could help with the bathrooms...since that is "science expirament bathroom cleaning"..hehe. oh and happy Spirit Day....i hope others are wearing their purple and bringing awareness to the issue of bullying.

happy birthday to me and happy coming out day!

ok...i keep meaning to post more often, and i will get some recipes up soon. today i turn 36...where do the years go??? i certainly don't always feel like the same girl i was 20 years ago, when i still had big dreams about my future...then again, i do still have some big dreams about my future, they've just shifted gears a bit...instead of wanting to be married at 20 and becoming a big fashion designer i've decided i want to raise 2 awesome kids to be self assured, creative young men and that i'd love to one day have my own business and a cool eco friendly home with plenty of room for an awesome garden. will it happen? i don't know, but instead of dwelling on past mistakes and divergences from the path i wanted to be on i choose to see those as learning experiences and growth opportunities and keep moving forward to a future that could be brighter and better than i even imagined. i still make mistakes, i booby trap myself...setting myself up for failure at times...usually afterwards i have a thought of "oh, you walked right into that knowing it wouldn't work and it didn't what were you thinking?", but i think a lot of people do that. i say just keep being the best you you can be and move forward, don't let anything hold you back, because you never know what lays ahead, just around the corner...waiting for you to take that chance. what's in store for me in the next year? i really have no idea, but with some luck and hard work, maybe i'll finally be able to start my business.

today is school picture day and the boys are dressed rather handsomely...connor is in a ralph lauren multi-coloured plaid button front shirt and declyn is in a blue striped button front shirt with an argyle sweater vest and his hair is slicked with pomade for the first time...he loves that it can easily go back into place even if it gets messed up easier than with gel. sometimes, from things he says or does i wonder if he may be gay, but he could be bi or straight, yet a bit flamboyant or just care about how he looks...nothing wrong with any of it...he's a sweetheart and as long as he is comfortable with himself then i'm happy with that. he and connor are so different in many ways, just like my sister and i are very different, yet we love eachother so much (my sister and i are not identical twins, we are 2 1/2 years apart, but just goes to show how each child is truely unique no matter how much their DNA is identical).

so in honor of coming out day i just want to say how proud i am of all of my friends and family who have pushed those closet doors open and come out...it's not easy , but i hope it gets easier and easier for everyone to be able to do. Love you all! stay true to yourself!

friday link love on sunday???

yup, i'm a bit off this week and friday link love is coming at you a couple days late. it seems i'm fighting off the head cold that has been pestering grammy and the kids all week. so chicken soup has been one of our saviors and in honor of it i have some link love for homemade broth...and it's benefits

and this broth and recipe looks awesome!

looking for some fun fall crafts to keep the kids busy??? here are some cool leaf crafts!

so i guess that is this weeks link love. I am currently using the tutorial from last week's linklove to make homemade yogurt. peace and love to you all!

quick post- self esteem..ect.

ok...this week and this morning got off to a rough start...i had an awesome time at king richard's faire this past saturday, then sunday i was pooped out and so were the kids, even though they had spent the day with my grandmother, not running around in the rain with me...sunday night connor woke up with croupe then on the way to bring him to the dr. monday i got a phone call to pick declyn up from school and bring him shoes...he had thrown up all over himself and was in the nurse's office, connor ended up fine but has a bit of a cold, then monday night declyn had croupe and he had a fever tuesday night, so off to the dr we went, turns out he just has a really bad head cold and congestion...then this morning when we woke up they started in...fighting one another and defying every rule we have (i really don't have many, but they figured they'd do everything that they know they shouldn't)..but when the bus came to get them they gave me hugs and kisses and ran to line up..connor was near the front of the line, but declyn wanted to squeeze in an extra hug and make sure his hair was still in place and most of the other kids were lined up or scrambling to line up then declyn did something awesome that i'm totally proud of him for...he looked at everyone scrambling for a place in line and very calmly and pointedly walked to the back of the line and stood there tall and erect and calmly waiting for everyone else...the other kids noticed and immediately others who were not in line, but were trying to scooch in did a double take and got in line behind declyn and they all lined up calmly to get on the bus after that. i was floored that something so simple could have such an impact.
i was thinking about this and other things when i realised that we all have the ability to make an impact with our actions...some will be bigger impacts than others, but our actions really do speak.
i've also been thinking a lot about self esteem ...ensuring it our children but also our own...i know my self esteem is not that high most of the time and i'm pretty sure my kids know that too...it's fairly evident. i have spent too much time worrying about what others think and living by other's standards and so on and so forth and too little pursuing my own dreams and goals...too much time feeling like my body is a prison that my soul was sentenced to rather than a temple in which it resides. our children know our feelings sometimes even better than we do ourselves...i know mine know when i'm feeling down and depressed and they know when i feel light and happy, sometimes they know this before i even catch on to it. just something to think about...time to go pick up my little men from the bus.