i'm not totally sure where to start...i feel like i've been failing as a blogger, i don't blog all that regularly, but also i sometimes feel like i'm not being as good a parent as i should then things like what happened today happen...
As usual we were snuggling in bed while waking up, morning snuggle time is a favorite time in our house and connor looked at me and said "you are the best mommy, in the whole world! i'm so glad i have a nice mommy, like you, not like _____'s mommy!" (mind you the words may not be exact, since it happend several hours ago and i omitted the other child's name, not that i completely remember it). he went on to tell me about how the girl he mentioned gets hit by her mommy, sometimes for no reason and sometimes with a belt...the look of horror on my face must have been noticeable, because both kids climbed up closer and snuggled more tightly with me as we discussed it...i told connor that we needed to tell his guidance counselor because someone needed to know who can try to keep her safe...and i did my best not to break down crying for the poor girl right then and there. during breakfast the boys asked about why a parent would do that and the best i could come up with was that maybe they were broken and hurting inside and didn't know how to love.
after the kids had gone to school i posted on facebook about how/why i was feeling distracted and got into some conversations with dear friends about it, but before that i had called the school and left a message for the guidance counselor. something during the conversation with my friends made me realize that i am totally overcritical of my parenting skills...while i have had mistakes and rough spots, i've learned a lot we've come a long way and have been implementing all sorts of things that allow my kids to feel safe telling me just about anything and we can discuss openly how we feel (for the most part...declyn still has times that he'd prefer thinking in silence until he feels ready to talk) and we have been having far fewer breakdowns since we started admitting we all need a little quiet time for ourselves from time to time and that sometimes what we really need is a hug or someone to hear and listen to what we are saying. i still yell sometimes, but i yell less and i catch myself and take a quick "time out"...we are all works in progress and i would never even think to use any implement or even my hand on my kids violently.
Right now i'm hoping that the guidance counselor is getting that poor sweet girl some sort of help and has talked to connor. I'll try to be back tomorrow with some friday link love.
peace, love, unity, respect...one love to you all. ((hugs))
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